tradition
/trəˈdɪʃ(ə)n/
noun
1. the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way.
2. an artistic or literary method or style established by an artist, writer, or movement, and subsequently followed by others.
It is that time of the year. The silly season. The season for giving and receiving. The season for celebration and most of the time well mannered, frivolity. It is also the only time of the year really when indulging in excesses is not only appreciated but encouraged. However, it is also that time of the year when traditions whether it be family, social, cultural, are put to the forefront, displayed and observed with vehement fervour and sometimes, with autocratic tendencies. It would seem surprising then to note that in spite of the generous and accepting demeanour of the season, there are more disagreements and arguments, fall outs amongst partners, families and in the extreme case, leading to breakups that occur during this time of the year than any other time of the year. What could be the cause that would mar such a jovial and frivolous season with one that would be reminded of heart break, sadness and indifference? I am sure there are various reasons but for the purpose of this post I shall confine it to one. The answer, tradition and in particular traditions around food. So, over the next two posts, I am going to discuss and share my views on this topic and encourage you to do the same.
Now before I go on any further, I want to make it clear that I am in no way an anarchist who is going to spend the next few paragraphs justifying why it is expected to rebel against the norm. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, I love tradition. I love the concept, rituals and the nuances of tradition. The only difference is I do not see tradition as hierarchical and closed, moving top to bottom with no provision for adaptation and/or the new. To me tradition is not just the transmission of customs and beliefs from generation to generation but, also across and most importantly, an organic process. It is in no way a closed book reminiscent of a tomb resigned for the history books. Rather, one that is living and dynamic. Tradition is what tradition does and especially traditions around food and eating.
Still there? Good. Let’s start. If I had to range a guess for one of the top three contenders leading to disagreements and arguments and full blown hysterics, I can safely punt the tradition of food as definitely being right up there on the top. Mid way through November as the holiday decorations start appearing on street and in shops, families all around the world end up at one point or the other asking the question. What to eat this year? Why? Why not this instead of that? But that is not what we do? Just some of the incubating questions that trigger the domino effect ending with the penultimate statement, “but that is not traditional for me/us/here”. Even if they know what they will be having that year for the holiday meal, the question is still asked nonetheless.
What then is traditional food for the holidays and especially over Christmas? What is it that makes food such a contentious and provocative subject during the holidays? Simply answered, because it is food. It is the one thing that captures, incites and stirs emotion so strong amongst us and, a lot of our fondest memories tend to revolve or include aspects around food. Think about it. Think of some of your fondest memories and you will find that food in some form or the other was associated with it. A particular aroma, flavour or colour that instantly transports you back to that particular moment in memory. How many times has the sweet smell of cinnamon or the seductive smell of vanilla wafting through the air instantly took you back to your mother making the holiday pudding or baking cookies? A particular moment in day leading up to the big event when the family participated in a holiday ritual whether it be stirring the pudding, helping bake the Christmas cookies or just going out shopping for the holiday meal.
As you grow up, you always revert back to those innate rituals subconsciously if not acknowledge them as being your tradition. You forget and miss a particular date leading up to Christmas for example and there is slight regret for not having done what you have always done as a kid. No wonder when it comes to the traditions around holiday food, it tends to be a contentious topic. It is because of, if not only for those nostalgic memories associated with those food traditions. Now if this was not enough, throw in contemporary and popular traditions as portrayed by media and society of the time and you have a true Roly-Poly.
What if you move away from the place your grew up or spent most of your holidays and find yourself in a new city, maybe in the same country, or in a totally different country? What does this mean when you are in a new relationship with your other half or even well into your relationship and just looking for something different than the norm during the holiday season? What if your other half is from a totally different cultural background let alone region. What do they eat for the holidays? How do they celebrate the holidays? What are some of their rituals? Will they accept my traditions? Should I adopt theirs or do they adopt mine? How does one navigate this potential minefield without having to disappoint or discount each others traditions?
In the next post I shall share a bit more about my own experiences and subsequently my take on what I feel helped me navigate through the food traditions and adaptations in a new environment. So, what worked or did not work for you? I look forward to reading your views, experiences and understandings of tradition especially around the food, rituals of the holidays.
